My Inflammatory Writ

Run Rabbit Run!

2012-01-25T22:29:00.000-05:00

So two nights ago, my van got broken into. Well, I guess not technically broken into, since I left it unlocked. They rummaged through the glove compartment, pulled out all the ash trays, and dumped out my first aid kit. Unfortunately for them, the only things they could steal were orange boxes and a bail of twine....oh yeah, and a really nice stick.

Once I realized what had happened I was a little frightened. It's scary to think that someone had been searching through my property. After about 20 minutes of that, I began to think of how frustrating it must have been to finally find an unlocked vehicle, and then not find a CENT. I laughed. Just last week, my sister-in-law was driving with me and questioned why I didn't lock the doors when we went into the store. "Someone would have to be stupid to steal something from in there," was my reply, "plus I think if I locked the doors, I might not be able to unlock them."

So, sorry Mr. Robber, that I didn't have money for you. Maybe next time do you think you could put everything back neatly where you found it...

We're Gonna Bring A Case Of Wine

2012-01-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

It's about that time of year. The time of year when I start getting bummed about being stuck inside, and missing all my favourite peoples. This time last year, I was planning a beautiful trip to see so many beautiful friends. Unfortunately, I haven't the fortune to finance such a galavant for winter 2012. Maybe y'all should come on over here?

Until then,

Life Ain't Nothin' But A Funny Funny Riddle

2012-01-07T14:34:00.000-05:00

I have a co-worker who grew up in Iowa. We often reminisce about living there, and all of the great things Iowa has to offer. This week he shared this little gem with me:

Went to the market today with my sister in law. She had never been on the weekend and was thoroughly impressed, mostly excited about the cinnamon buns. I had forgotten how much tastier free-range eggs are, and now refuse to settle for anything else.

It's gorgeous outside. Our grass is still green. I may go for a bike ride.

She's Right, You Know

2011-12-29T17:39:00.000-05:00

Boxing Day

2011-12-26T12:13:00.000-05:00

Christmas is over. I haven't decided yet if I will go to the store today. They are probably crazy with sales, and I hate shopping. Unfortunately, my phone is on the fritz, and it's time for a new one (you were right all along Mela).

The holidays have been good so far. We celebrate Pakjesavond on the 24th with games and finger food. Living on my own and in poverty, I received many practical gifts that I am very thankful for--socks, underwear, winter boots! Christmas day was spent going to church, visiting grandparents, and having a nice meal. I also took some photos:

One more month and I'll have a little niece or nephew. The first one, and everyone is getting excited.

That's all for now. No work til after New Years, and I've got big plans, BIG PLANS, I tell ya.

A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

2011-12-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

I am currently baking Espresso Double-Chocolate Chunk Cookies. This is the recipe I'm using. I've never tried the recipe before, but based on how good the dough is, I think they'll be a hit. I didn't have any instant espresso powder, but I did have this:

We'll see how it works.

I got this instant coffee from Phoeving, a man at work. He loves to share his food, bring treats, and give me different things to try. It's sad that he's retiring this year. He wasn't at work today because he's getting a colonoscopy. Maybe that's a little private, but whatever, you don't know him...unless your name is Carmela. At work, it's usually general knowledge when someone is getting a colonoscopy, and it always brings up everyone's butt-camera and laxative stories. We had a good laugh. I kept thinking of this scenario, but didn't say it out loud--people sometimes don't get my humour:

I wonder if there has ever been a proctologist out there who dreams of being an artist, or just wants to add some flair to his job after watching so many colonoscopy videos. You know, pops them into iMovie, dubs the Star Wars theme over them, adds a vignette, maybe some clip-art....

I think that's a good place to stop.

Come Wind Come Rain

2011-12-08T21:05:00.001-05:00

I work at a nursery, as I'm sure many of you know. Most of the time, I find it to be very enriching. I learn new things, and I am challenged in different ways. I didn't used to think this way. Back in the day, when I spent my summers between high school years in fields, I hated it. My dad would force me to get up way earlier than I wanted, I couldn't just hang out and be lazy like so many other friends. But hey, I was 14 years old. All I wanted to do was shop and talk to boys. I used to wonder how any of my co-workers could work here their whole lives.

I don't know when my thoughts changed, but I realized it upon chatting with a former employee of the nursery. Out of a job, I casually mentioned that she should come back to nursery til she found something in her field. Her response was one of incredulity. She stated how she never wanted to come back, and her nursery days were over. I couldn't understand it! I knew that she had spent some time flipping burgers at McDonalds, and done some other really shitty jobs. Was this place at the bottom of her list?

I also have been told time after time by some of the men who have been here for years- "You don't want to get stuck here for life", "Get out while you still can", etc. I don't know what caused these men to be so bitter, but I choose to believe that it is probably their own fault. Maybe due to a poor outlook, a fear of manual labour, a lack of ambition, or they just won't be happy, no matter what their lot. Who knows!

One pitfall of a large operation such as the nursery, is that there tends to be what some may call "monotony". Propagating millions of plants every year doesn't just involve watching them grow; thousands of grafts must be made, each plant must be trimmed, sprayed, and tended, they all have to be dug up or potted and shipped away. As you can imagine, there are days, sometimes weeks, of doing the same job. These can often be mindless tasks, especially once you get into a rhythm. The benefit of performing mindless tasks, is that it frees up your mind to think of other things, EVERYTHING, really. I have begun to listen to audiobooks, allowing me to work on my reading list WHILE I work. I have selected various podcasts that are enriching to listen to. Not to mention, I get lots of opportunity to delve into new music, and listen to old favourites. All of this leads to me putting on my thinking face and walking around like this:

People ask me if I'm angry. I'll let them believe it. But really, I am quite content. I love working outside, and with my hands, and seeing the fruits of my labour, then when it comes to getting through something that is not so good, I have the tools to get through it.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

2011-11-27T16:37:00.001-05:00

Hi.

The roses are graded and put away, the rabbit fence has been raised, everything is out of the ground that needs to be, and things are being put into storage for the winter. This all means we are back to a five day work week. I had forgotten what it was like to have Saturday off. I could make plans on a Friday night and actually have time to clean my apartment on the weekend! (8+ weeks of just "picking up", you can imagine things got out of hand)

Besides working on the nursery, I thought my work for the Canadian Artists Rose Consortium would be winding down for the season. This summer, I worked on selecting and gaining rights to our newest rose, Bill Reid. Keep your eyes peeled this spring people! Hardy for zone 2!

Beginning of the month, I finished an article I was asked to write by the Consortium, telling the history of rose breeding in Canada. It is to be published along with the release of the new rose--trade magazines, POP materials, etc. Its definitely going to have a limited audience, but is exciting nonetheless. The article has been well received, and I have since been asked to write a few more articles covering similar topics. Hopefully this will bring in some more cash this winter.

Besides working, I've been attempting to be social. Its hard to get out there and join in when you know that you are going to be doing something that you don't really enjoy. By this, I mean to say, most of my friends are philistines. It's just hard to force myself out of the apartment when I know we're probably just going to watch a movie starring Will Ferrell. I don't usually hate this hard. In their defense, they are decent people, and we do have some good times. These days, Mandie has been a godsend. We go out for ethnic food, chat about religion and design, and take in some of the culture that Niagara has to offer. This weekend, we hope to convince everyone to come to the Shisha lounge!

New Digs

2011-09-03T21:36:00.002-05:00

2011-08-30T19:27:00.000-05:00

You gotta feel this, in your duodenum, your duodenum.

2011-08-23T22:08:00.001-05:00

:)

2011-08-11T15:53:00.001-05:00

Just Bust a Move

2011-06-05T09:34:00.003-05:00

SO, to be unoriginal--I've moved! From St. Catharines to Port Dalhousie, a whole new town with new opportunities! ....well actually I'm about three kilometers from my old place, and Port Dalhousie is technically inside St. Catharines. BUT, I'm on my own, in my cute little studio basement apartment, that is right on the lake. It also has a great kitchen, which I am excited about. Unfortunately, it's been a real challenge getting organized, and it's still quite a mess, but we'll get there....we'll get there.

Tomorrow we are Minnesota bound! To all you folks over there: You make me feel like dancin'!

Break the Lock if It Don't Fit

2011-05-14T13:04:00.001-05:00

For Carmela:

2011-04-22T21:23:00.001-05:00

We'll See Who Brings In More Honey!

2011-04-21T21:27:00.003-05:00

Well then. Spring has sprung, minus her usual vivacity. With the exception of a couple days here and there, April has felt much like most of winter, but despite that, the usual buzz has set the hive into motion.

I know I've been a busy bee. Lots of wedding things to think of (at least one every month from April to September for me!)--shoes, dresses, gifts, plane tickets! Spring shipping is in full fling at the nursery. Six days a week! While work is taking up most of my life, I have a collection of post-its piling up on my monitor, filled with to-do lists, tallies, and budgets. mhmm.

The extra-curriculars are there too. Zumba has become a highlight twice a week. Definitely a stress reliever. This one's my favourite so far:

I listen to my ipod quite frequently at work, and I often lament about "not having anything to listen to". But then I thought to myself, who am I kidding? I have almost 7000 songs to choose from! Some of which I probably haven't even listened to. SO, I've taken it upon myself to listen to every track I have this summer...alphabetically, song by song. I started probably three or four weeks ago, and I'm in the G section. Keep in mind, I don't listen to it ALL day, and I occasionally will take a break to listen to new albums. It's been quite the excercise, especially since I haven't allowed myself to skip anything. One thing I really enjoy about it is that all of the remakes/covers of a song will play in a row, and its cool to hear them side by side.

2011-04-11T18:48:00.000-05:00

go here

http://www.npr.org/2011/04/04/134987319/first-listen-panda-bear-tomboy?ps=mh_fl%22#playlist

Rest In Peace...

2011-03-31T17:07:00.004-05:00

Lima Peru Bakker
September 15, 2009-March 30, 2011

The best pet a person could ask for. I'll miss you Lima.

I believe it's time to dance

2011-03-27T11:17:00.000-05:00

for your eyes

2011-03-25T19:39:00.001-05:00

http://www.giedrojcmichal.com/

I Wish I Didn't Know You Better

2011-03-09T20:59:00.002-05:00

I Guess the Change in My Pocket Wasn't Enough

2011-03-06T22:24:00.001-05:00

;)

2011-03-02T22:43:00.001-05:00

2011-02-08T19:15:00.000-05:00

yeah, hey?

2011-01-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

If I Were On Mad Men....

2010-12-21T20:01:00.002-05:00

http://www.amctv.com/originals/madmen/madmenyourself/

...and going and going and going....where?

2010-12-12T21:12:00.002-05:00

It's crazy how quickly something like this can get away from you--over a month, apparently.

That said, what's to tell really? It's been much of the same old thing, working mostly. I can see myself slowly going crazy if I don't get my act together though.

I need to make some art. I need to get away. Maybe I'll come for a visit, eh?

Und der Haifisch, der hat Zähne.

2010-10-19T17:54:00.002-05:00

I love Ella. I listened to this song at work today. If I were lucky, I'd be able to scat and improvise just like this lovely lady someday. I posted this version for the visual, but you should really listen to the version from her "Ella in Berlin" album--fabulous.

Claro, Claro, Amarillo, Verde, Rosa, BASURA...

2010-10-07T20:59:00.004-05:00

...among other colours....this has been my last couple of weeks. We are grading and sizing all of the field-grown stock, each size gets it's own ribbon. We walk up and down the rows, manipulated by the caller's voice and the rolls of ribbon tied around our waist. We get to know each other better, people I have known for years, but barely talked to. Now it's like Gary, Jose, Herminia, and of course Carmela, are all one little Spanglish family, riding around in our Safari-turned-limo. I was warned so much about a terrible autumn that it is turning out to be almost delightful. We'll see how it is come rose digging though.

I felt I was in need of some extra-curriculars. Following a contact blindly, I now am taking accordion lessons every wednesday night. Let's face it, that self-teaching was NOT working. Boris is an elderly and particular Danish gentleman, versed in the accordion and piano. He has already taught me so much.....about what I was doing wrong. It's a start though, and gives me something constructive to do with my time.

I miss you all, and I hope you are well.

Much love.

Je ne regrette rien

2010-10-03T00:02:00.000-05:00

c'est bon

2010-09-26T12:56:00.001-05:00

I think it might be the catchiest song on EARTH.

Dog Days are Over

2010-09-17T14:03:00.001-05:00

ob-la-di, ob-la-da

2010-09-12T21:30:00.002-05:00

Life is going on. I've never worked on the nursery in the Fall. Hard to believe, I know. The weather is cool, people have left, I stayed. There are few bugs in the trees now, and many bugs indoors. Except the monarchs, there are lots of those outdoors. They used to have a stop on their way south in the tree in front of our house. They would gather there every autumn, order their coffee, stretch their legs before hitting the road again, but we cut the tree down.

I have wanted to go to the butterfly conservatory for a few weeks now, I will take Carmela to see her own kind (she is a butterfly because she can't fly in a straight line).

2010-08-23T13:06:00.001-05:00

I'm Here

2010-08-16T19:03:00.001-05:00

http://www.imheremovie.com/

Hot as a Wandering Sun

2010-08-14T10:07:00.002-05:00

I have been home now for a couple of weeks. My trip was amazing, but tiring, and I'm glad to be home. I'd be happy to share any details of my travels with you, just come on over for a cup of coffee.

Rose and tree budding is wrapped up for the most part, and all the kids are talking about going back to school. It's strange to think that I'll be staying home here...working working working. The days are long, and I haven't had much time for art, not that I have a studio. (Right behind my loft there is a barn with two floors. The bottom floor is the pump house for all of the watering to be done on the fields behind our property, and the top floor is empty. I've been trying to wear down my dad to let me use it...we'll see).

It's been hot here. We swim in the lake at break times or when we get off work early. We have collected some pretty stones and sea glass. The blue is most coveted!

It'll be interesting to be here for Autumn again.

jó napot kívánok!

2010-07-13T13:34:00.004-05:00

I am back in Hungary, about 20 minutes outside of Budapest. There is a small town that I don't know how to say the name of, and that's where you can find me. When the locals say it, it sounds like Vacharchan, but I'm sure that I have completely massacred it. Spelled váctárscán? Probably not. But ANYWAY. I am teaching at my final English camp. This one is through a church, and is an extracuricular for these kids who want to learn more English. Because of this, it is much more easy going than the one that was at the school.

Steph and I are being hosted by a couple, Lilli and Látszi. Lilli speaks very good english, is very sweet, and a good cook. Her husband does not speak much english, but he communicates with us through large grunts and bellows. He is a big man, who loves to watch cartoons, ruffle our hair, and make waves in the pool.

Last week was pretty low key. The Roma camp didn't end up being able to happen because of some bad timing, so we just did some day camps for children through churches in northern Croatia. We visited a homemade crypt, walked hand in hand with some dirty kids down the road counting in Hungarian, we went swimming in our underwear in the river, tore through rough trails on beat up bikes, managed to get hundreds of mosquito bites, handed out soccer balls to kids who didn't have toys, miscommunicated, used hand gestures, laughed, ate good food, saw a pastry fairy, sang songs, made dares.

On friday the road trip begins. Serbia, Greece, Bulgaria, Turkey, Romania, here I come!

Truckin' Along

2010-06-27T10:09:00.003-05:00

The first week of classes is finished. We are all getting comfortable with eachother, and I hope, learning from eachother. It is strange how one can form relationships even when there is such a communication barrier. I have finished teaching normal classes, and have begun with play practice. I think this is a little more in my comfort zone.

This weekend we took a trek up to the mountains. It was a gorgeous and bumpy ride. Piling into good ole Daisy, the beat up VW bus, and stopping for our lunch of bread, cheese, sausage, tomatoes, and cucumbers on the way really got me pumped up for the adventures to come. I love the untamed feeling of this country.

Украине

2010-06-23T11:46:00.002-05:00

So, after one missed flight, one almost missed flight, a lost credit card, sleeping without a bed for a week, staying awake for 36 hours, watching two of my best friends get married, and reuniting with old friends, I am back in Peterfalva, Ukraine. It feels really good to be back, and is almost like coming home. I've had a couple days of classes, and soon I'll start teaching the skits. The students are great.

That's all I have for now. Looking forward to some relaxation on the weekend.

Let Me Be

2010-06-12T17:30:00.000-05:00

A Bird of a Story

2010-06-08T19:39:00.004-05:00

As most of you know, I have been working on a project that involves taking a polaroid every day for a year. I have been infatuated with the wildlife around me, and today, had the desire to take a picture of the baby robins that make their home in the magnolia tree by my porch.

In the early hours of the evening, I decided to make my way over to their abode and snap a quick shot, and leave. Little did I know of the drama that would ensue.

I ascended my aluminum ladder in the garden, careful not to tip it over. I set up my shot, it was a little above my head yet, but I could reach. As soon as I snapped the shot, the sleeping chicks were awakened. In their terror, they bailed over the edge of the nest and ran for cover. In MY terror, I descended the rickety ladder and made for the house. I grabbed a pair of garden gloves and set out to rescue the little ones to return them to their home. To my surprise, the robins were not so little anymore, and not so easy to catch. As I ran around the yard, trying to coax the babies to come near me, their parents arrived at the scene and began to dive-bomb my head. Amid the squawking and fluttering I managed to catch them and bring them up to the nest, but the young birds were so frightened they just hopped right back out again. I tried in vain, and the parents continued to become more brave and get closer to me. I gave up my futile attemps, and walked (or ran) away ashamed, and hoping the birds would be okay.

Not even worth it.......

This Book is a Movie

2010-06-02T19:25:00.003-05:00

Now that summer is in full fling, it's time to start reading for PLEASURE!!!! Over time I have recieved many recommendations from you all, but failed to retain any of it. If you have a good book to recommend, I'm all for it. For now, I have just decided to make my way through Time magazines top 100 books of all time (http://205.188.238.181/time/2005/100books/the_complete_list.html). Any ideas on which to start on?

In other news. Mela and I are going to a Caribou concert next week, it should be dancerific!

Movin' On

2010-05-13T09:24:00.003-05:00

I guess I should start to update a little more, now that our lives no longer run parallel.

I took two days to get home, my parents like to take it easy when traveling, too many hours is just exhausting. We parted with Carmela in Michigan City where she went off to visit family for a day or two. It rained the whole way home on the second day of travel. Lima made it across the border with no problems at all, and is adjusting to Canadian life quite easily. She gets more attention than is good for her I think--spoiled little bird...

Carmela arrived yesterday at around 5:30pm, and we've been moving into our loft. I never realized how much clothing I have when splitting a closet for the first time. It also will be the first time since sophomore year that I have shared a bedroom, but we are kindred spirits, so I think everything will work out just dandy. If not, one of us will get killed off--survival of the fittest...I'm going to start working out. Mela can really pack a punch if you didn't know.

Tomorrow I think that we will begin working. Apparently there is tyranny in the women's crew that I am expected to overthrow. I don't know if I should really be the one to be in charge though, since I'll be leaving for Ukraine/Neal and Laura's wedding next month.

I think that's about it for now. Feel free to come visit us. We have room for five more people to stay with us...maybe even more if you don't want a bed. ;)

Miss you all!

Sometimes I Feel As Though Music Could Heal The World

2010-04-26T09:47:00.002-05:00

...but maybe that's just naive.

...but maybe I don't care.

jónsi - sinking friendships (live) from Jónsi on Vimeo.

If you care to...

2010-04-16T12:18:00.001-05:00

A project I am working on...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019361&id=148301076&l=d3a12a8c7a

Toe Jam

2010-04-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

Answered Prayers

2010-03-22T23:23:00.001-05:00

WELL

It looks as though my friends over at the Impossible Project have finally come through. I know what I'LL be doing on March 25th.

http://www.the-impossible-project.com/

Thinking of Leaving

2010-03-10T01:28:00.000-05:00

Miss You, Kate.

2010-02-18T13:26:00.003-05:00

1 year....

Whose is the Name that I will Call when I am Called to Meet Thee?

2010-02-11T11:22:00.004-05:00

I keep wondering when I am going to catch "senioritis". I feel more dedicated to my classes than I have ever been, and don't have a huge desire to leave this place I call home. Taking classes that hold my interest probably is a big contributing factor. It's a new sensation to be dissappointed upon missing a day.

I am "scrambling" a little, but only because I feel like I am expected to. How can you not? This place is probably one of the best meat markets around. Chances of meeting a lifemate are exponentially higher here. Then again, maybe that's true for other people--those who go for your typical Dordt student. Me? I prefer someone who is emotionally unavailable or has severe psychological issues, and if not that, at least has a girlfriend or wife. Can't make it too easy on myself now. It's no real matter though, I've always got Mela...

So, I spend my days mostly wandering around in confusion, taking any chance to run away from normal adulthood, and avoiding kitsch at all costs. Maybe now is just a time to live in the moment, taking things one day at a time, snapping photos to save these memories, listening to good music, and appreciating what I have.

I'll drink to that.

ps. When do you think it will be considered kitsch to avoid kitsch? Goodness, then we'll ALL be in trouble!

I'll Get This Joy Off Of My Chest At Last

2010-02-04T02:22:00.004-05:00

It's the simple things that make a great day:

Waking up rested
Listening to blues music
Coming home to coffee
Listening to Joanna Newsom

Playing volleyball
Sack lunches
Triumphantly sewing a pocket for the first time
Homemade pizza
Hanging out in the Bean
Watching basketball
Ice cream with raspberries
Friends

and in case you didn't catch it while it was up...

Let Regret End at the Start of the Day

2009-12-31T16:47:00.004-05:00

I'm not really one to make resolutions, but last year (it just happened to be near New Years Eve) I compiled a list of things to do before I die. Actually I titled it "Things to do in my Life", because I feel like that is more positive and takes off the pressure of a deadline--literally a deadline. ha.

The list has had things added and removed over the year...maybe mostly things added, but I feel like I was pretty successful considering how much I got done, and I still have a bunch of life left-- DV. I didn't include my general goals about the person I want to become, because those are ALWAYS a work in progress--eg: "be a better friend"

SO, without further ado, here is my list. The ones marked with (x) are the ones accomplished. The ones marked with (~) are in progress.

Go tree planting
(~)Learn to play the accordion
Have a real art show
Try mushrooms
Successfully hitchhike
Adopt a child (or children)
(x)See real mountains
Swim in the ocean
(~)Become fluent in French
Cry out of pure joy
(x)Cry out of pure sadness
(x)Get a tattoo
Travel India
(x)Travel Eastern Europe
Visit the territories
Write a song
Perform a song
Live in a commune
Live in a house boat
Live in a tree
Be homeless
Have my own farm complete with vegetable garden, goats, chickens, and bee hives
Have a pet tortoise
Fly in a hot air balloon
See Sigur Ros in concert
Touch a whale
Take a Polaroid every day for at least one year

If You Love Me, Let it Happen

2009-12-29T00:40:00.000-05:00

Stawberry Banana Muffins

2009-12-28T19:17:00.006-05:00

Baking and cooking in my spare time. These were made at the same time as banana bread with raisins and pecans--and there are still bags of rotten bananas in the freezer!

Tonight my dad and I cooked up Red Snapper on the grill, with green beans, and bruschetta. Complimented with a Mouton Cadet white.

With New Years on its way, it is time to prepare the croquette innards and get them breaded by the 31st, and to mix up the olie ballen dough...mmmm.

"Stop daydreaming, Dude!"

2009-12-20T00:37:00.002-05:00

I made it home. United "forgot" half of the plane's luggage in Chicago which meant that my bags were not in Buffalo upon my arrival. They were very prompt in getting them to me by tonight though, so thankfully I have clothing to wear tomorrow!

United may break guitars but they do NOT break accordions.

And one more thing: What Would I Want? Sky is amazing on a whole new level when you listen to it flying above the clouds.

Help I'm Alive...

2009-11-23T13:23:00.002-05:00

Maybe I just need to get away for a while, but angst is the word that friend Alvin used to describe it. Thanksgiving can't come quick enough. Even though everything will be waiting on the other end of it, we'll not think about that right now.

I seem to have lost my focus while attempting to gain a broader perspective. I apologize profusely, friends. Lets just take some time to regroup, and hopefully come out of the next week rejuvenated and ready to face the world again.

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

2009-11-18T12:16:00.000-05:00

Oh Bob

You Can't Force a Dance Party

2009-11-06T12:01:00.001-05:00

new favourite

Parkeharrison

2009-10-20T19:45:00.002-05:00

artistic genius

Why Canada Rocks

2009-10-13T11:59:00.002-05:00

Prime Minister Stephen Harper singing Beatles song for a fundraiser. I may not have voted for him but he definitely just won some points in my book.

bobbing for apples

2009-10-04T16:52:00.003-05:00

Okay, so maybe I should update for a change.

This weekend was tristate, and I decided to stay here in Sioux Center to get some work done on my individual study. All in all, the weekend was pretty uneventful. I hermitted out in the Brick House, and didn't get as much done as I wanted too and was pretty bored.

Today, I was pretty optimistic though, and came to terms with my lonliness, but everyone will be coming home tonight anyway. I think that I need other people around to keep myself motivated for some reason. I make a terrible mess when I'm alone...

The school year has been going well. I only have stressed out a few times, and am beginning to figure out what I am going to do after I graduate...even if it is just making plans to run away for a while...I told my mum about them and she seemed pretty cool about it. I still have to tell my dad, and he's not usually as cool about things that are unreasonable. Hopefully by the next time I see him, I'll have a logical argument all prepared, and can present my case well.

Not a whole lot has been going on otherwise, except we made some apple cider, which is delicious, hot or cold.

Sand painting

2009-09-21T09:55:00.002-05:00

God Bless America!

2009-09-15T21:24:00.001-05:00

Feels Like Home

2009-08-27T11:50:00.002-05:00

Since when did 18 hours in car not seem so much?

I have moved back in to the Brick House, and made my home in Paul's room. Things are back to normal, minus a few things, and plus a few things, but I am happy.

Lots of coffee, cooking with friends, hacky sack, music.

Classes have begun, and as usual, I am optimistic about the year.

Mama's Got a Squeeze Box

2009-08-17T21:35:00.002-05:00

Goin' Up the Country

2009-08-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

See you next week, friends.

Catch a Falling Star

2009-08-13T19:44:00.003-05:00

The long work days are over, now it's just your usual 7-5:30. Since we were used to the sleep deprivation already, we went to bed on time, woke up at 1am and laid outside to watch the perseids meteor shower at it's peak. The stars and the darkness and the tiredness all make for good conversation. Cuddled between sleeping bags and mexican blankets, we realized that television can't even hold a candle to what has been placed all around us already.

The Continuing Story of Bungalow Dee

2009-08-09T13:04:00.003-05:00

This is Dee...

It was a lovely Civic Holiday, and she decided to go down to the Twenty Valley Trail for a little hike.
She saw a riverAnd lots of trees.

And didn't even trip over any roots!

She also managed to get down to the beach that day, swim in the chilly lake, and eat burgers cooked on a hibachi.

The next weekend she got to see St. Vincent, and celebrate her birthday will all her friends and fam. Her fam likes to shorten words.

THE END

Only Time

2009-08-08T07:23:00.002-05:00

A housewarming party. Old friend Dave bought a new house. It used to be a bank, and his living room looks like it. He even has a vault, and I am slightly jealous.

The evening quickly began with the boys going down to the river, and the women sitting up on the porch. I soon realized that I was the only girl there that was not married. I really could care less about a thing like this, except that apparently once people get married around here, they become very boring to hang around. The fact that I had been up since 5am exacerbated the whole situation.

Most of these people I have been friends with since high school, some even earlier than that. The last few times I have been with them, it has been a similar experience and I am debating whether it is worth it to keep trying. It seems a shame to just ditch all of that history, and yet I continue to find it harder and harder to relate to them.

In the Summertime

2009-08-02T01:20:00.001-05:00

I'm Only Sleeping

2009-07-27T18:40:00.002-05:00

Larva came for a visit, and experienced southern Ontario for all that it was worth.

Now its time to get back to work. 5:30am to 5:30pm. I am beat. Other than that, I have no exciting news for you readers, so I will leave you with a little advice instead, especially for my Canadian friends.

Take Away Our Playstations, And We're A Third World Nation

2009-07-15T21:09:00.004-05:00

3 suicides and one attempt while I was away. All within my circle. so many divorces, I have begun to wager how long each will last. And these are just the small scale things that are happening in the world. How can people live in a place like this? How do they have any hope? When will they realize that they are looking for happiness in the wrong places?

Then, I seek solitude in a forest of locust trees. The bright green and deep purple leaves glow in the brightness of the day and tickle my skin as I push through the thicket. I look up and sneeze in the sunlight. I relish in the soil--on my skin, under my feet.

...here it is...

chimera

2009-07-13T11:34:00.002-05:00

mostly flashes, and nothing coherent

a dirty sidewalk, boiling and sizzling with acid water rising from the earth

how can people drink this? It's not safe.

it doesn't matter, they have nothing else

the naughty children must go into the boat(it looks like a barrel tilted on it's side)

But the water is not good!

the boat begins to roll down the hill toward the squalid waves

children scream and tumble, round and round

as the barrel lands with a splash and begins to sink

I run to the shore, I cannot help

The water is not safe.

A Bite to the Neck

2009-07-11T09:11:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned, I work with all girls, and when the conversation finally turns away from marriage, that is when we begin to talk about Twilight. Apparently, I just HAVE to see/read it. It's sooooo good.

Are you kidding me? Do you even know me? In what universe do you think that I would like a book/movie about vampires falling in love? I had the movie explained to me even, and have decided that I really don't want to waste 2 hours of my life on something like that. Not even to see what the hype is about.

My sister bought a dirt bike, and I couldn't figure out why, until someone said that the chick in the book drives one...or something. Wow Tori, now maybe you will have a hotty vampire come and whisk you off your feet.

Nostamania

2009-07-08T11:26:00.002-05:00

I had a couple of my cousins over last night. I made them food--Greek salad, roasted red pepper hummus, baba ganoush, and almond cookies/chocolate/melon for dessert. Delish. I was going to take pictures, but I forgot.

At night we remenisced a little about how much better children's television was when we were young. Here were some of my favourites. I don't think you'll be surprised...

Smoggies

Sharon, Lois, and Bram's Elephant Show

Fred Penner's Place

Mr. Dressup

Tots TV

My Home And Native Land

2009-07-01T21:19:00.003-05:00

Happy Canada Day! She's 142 years, if my math is right (highly likely it's not). It is great to see flags waving everywhere, and to hear the fireworks in the distance tonight. Sometimes I forget that I DO love this country, and it's days like today that remind me.

We didn't get the day off...Friday. Long weekend, YESSSSSSS. Plus then it's like I get to celebrate 4th of July as well. (Not that I care a whole lot--sorry American friends)

Work is going well. It is good to be outside and to start getting weird tan lines. I am especially looking forward to starting tree budding....mostly to get away from working with ALL girls, and their incessant chatter about weddings. GALL! You'd think that AFTER they were all married it would be out of their system...but NOOOoooo. The worst of it is that they don't so much carry on a conversation, but rather compete to speak, because OBVIOUSLY what they have to say is more important than anyone else. "My flowers were going to be soooo beautiful, but then the florist put emerald green ribbons around the bouquets when I CLEARLY stated that I wanted LIME green. OMG! I cried so much, it practically ruined the whole day!"

Thankfully God has supplied me with the wonderful technology you and I like to call an ipod.

Well, now that's out of my system. I really don't think that they are so bad...just different than myself, I guess. I don't want to be too much of a negative nancy, if you know what I mean.

On a different strain, I am still editing my photos. Please be patient, things are coming along. I hope to finish in the next couple of days...

Reflections from in the Airplane (over the ocean)

2009-06-26T08:49:00.003-05:00

I am "home" again. Bittersweet.

I left Ukraine blinking back tears, and I can't even describe my feelings in the last couple of days. I guess I'll just let someone else do it for me....

The Hills Are Alive

2009-06-19T06:44:00.003-05:00

For fourth period every day we have a time of singing together with all of the students in the grade I am teaching (10).

I am lucky because Eric has the same dislike that I do for Praise and Worship music, so we have managed to appease the others with just one or two. We have the kiddies singing Amazing Grace, I Can See Clearly Now, Island in the Sun (yeah old school weezer!), and I just taught them Lean on Me today.

Their accents when they sing is one of the cutest things!

Today in class the kids asked Evan and I to sing and dance to a Justin Timberlake song....I am embarrassed to say that I know some of the words, and when I refused they all began to chant our names and hit their desks. SOOoooo....in a terrible rendition, we performed this song for them and the girls squeeled for Evan, and all cheered at the end. The closest that I will evergetto becoming a pop star....

Too Cool For School

2009-06-17T10:48:00.002-05:00

Classes are going well, I think. Considering that neither Evan nor I have taught before. We are trying to make our classes as fun as possible, and just have a good time learning with the kids. I think I may have even won some respect while I was at it. Thank goodness, they probably would walk all over me, if they only knew.

The first day was introductions and checking out what level of English the students had gotten to. We had some extra time at the end of that class so I pulled out the hacky sack and I taught them how to play. They were pretty into it, and have been asking to play quite frequently...YESSSSS.

Today I was out in the courtyard with some of the other folks that are here teaching and we had a guitar with us. Four of the boys from my class came up and grabbed the guitar and started to play and sing for us some Hungarian songs. It was very sweet.

Oh, and if you are wondering....
I am in a unique area of Ukraine, on the west side of the Carpathian mountains, a part of Ukraine that used to be Hungary, so most of the people here consider themselves Hungarian, and that is the language that they speak. On the OTHER side of the mountains they speak Ukrainian and Russian.

2009-06-15T00:39:00.002-05:00

I am back from the Balkans and will be starting teaching today. I am FRIGHTENED! I have to make lesson plans and actually TEACH these children. What was I thinking?

Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Kosovo(newest country in the world), and Serbia. Croatia and Montenegro were the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and I can't wait to edit my photos. I could have done without Serbia. Too many slimy police. While sleeping in our van, some people came and started to rock it back and forth. They ran off as soon as we sat up, but Evan said that he was so scared that he peed blood....

more later. I have to go break my fast.

Are You Getting Hungary?

2009-05-31T02:28:00.003-05:00

Well, I am sitting in the home of Robbie and Clara, somewhere in the east of Hungary. Eric and I headed here for the weekend and there is a small gathering of a few other people as well. They are extremely hospitable people, and GREAT cooks. We had some kind of goulash thing made over a fire last night. Divine.

One great thing about them is that they all speak fluent English, so I actually could carry on a decent conversation for once in a long while...although sometimes our discussion would get exciting or heated and then they would all switch to Hungarian again...hehe.

Today we will go to a medieval festival in which I will get to meet a friend of Erics who apparently has an impressive mustache and will be fighting in the fake fights at the festival. I put fake in italics because apparently they are more real than fake and people come close to injury every time.

Yesterday was the graduation at the school, I watched only a part of the 3 hour affair, the place was decorated with all kinds of flowers and fern leaves, and altogether it was beautiful, but a little long. Thanks goodness they serve good food afterwards.

Did I mention that the food here is amazing? So tastey.

There is this traditional dish in which you take a hunk of pork fat and put it on a stick and then put it over a fire. When it gets hot enough, the fat will start to drip off and you drip it onto bread and a cucumber, tomato, onion mix and then eat it. Very very good...

Okay, thats all I have for now. Love you all.

Dee

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

2009-05-27T16:25:00.003-05:00

Okay, so remember when I said that I might not come back home?

I am staying here another month.

But what shall I do?

Maybe, hang around a quaint village for a week, take a trip to Kiev, go to a medieval festival in Budapest, spend a week touring the Balkans, and teach english at a camp for 2 weeks.

Sounds good to me.

See you on the 25th.

Igen!

2009-05-20T11:06:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am in Ukraine. I have seen a lot. This country is amazing. The mountains (small ones), the nature, the people, the FOOD! Right now I am in a little town called Peter Falva in Transcarpathia. We head to Lviv and Odessa tomorrow. Just letting you all know that I am alive........and may not come home.

Sziastok!

Budapeshhhhht

2009-05-12T10:07:00.002-05:00

Youuuu guessed it! After lots hours on a plane, and lots of hours waiting around, I have arrived in Budapest and am now sitting clean and comfortable in a hostel in the downtown. This is a great city, even though I haven't seen alot of it yet-- although it is a bustling busy place, there is still SO much greeny lushness.

I can't even remember all the details to tell you, dear reader. BUT I did have a wild ride in an old VW van through the city and it's surroundings.

I think I am going to frolick in a field of poppies.

I'll be in touch.

Subterranean Homesick Alien

2009-05-06T12:46:00.003-05:00

I have never had any serious qualms with the United States of America, at least nothing more than I already do with Canada, but today I had a real reason to appreciate my beloved country.

I have to get a whack of shots before I leave for Ukraine--Hepatitis A and B, and Typhoid medication. I won't be going home before I leave, so I had to get them here in the States. It cost me $105. Ridiculous. And do you know what? I am going to risk getting typhoid because I don't want to pay for the prescription. I considered not getting the hep shots as well, but I think if I actually got hepatitis, I would really feel like a dumbass. Did you read that? I CONSIDERED risking getting HEPATITIS!

The fact that people risk getting serious diseases because they can't afford to pay for preventative measures is absurd. This kind of stuff would be free in Canada. FREE. Can you believe it? People actually don't have to have money to deserve health care. Damn socialists.

And here are the symptoms of typhoid--nothing I can't handle I think.

Symptoms
By Mayo Clinic staff

Although children with typhoid fever sometimes become sick suddenly, signs and symptoms are more likely to develop gradually — often appearing one to three weeks after exposure to the disease. In some cases you may not become sick for as long as two months after exposure.

First stage
Once signs and symptoms do appear, you're likely to experience:

Fever, often as high as 103 or 104 F (39 or 40 C)
Headache
Weakness and fatigue
A sore throat
Abdominal pain
Diarrhea or constipation
Rash
Children are more likely to have diarrhea, whereas adults may become severely constipated. During the second week, you may develop a rash of small, flat, rose-colored spots on your lower chest or upper abdomen. The rash is temporary, usually disappearing in two to five days.

Second stage
If you don't receive treatment for typhoid fever, you may enter a second stage during which you become very ill and experience:

Continuing high fever
Either diarrhea that has the color and consistency of pea soup or severe constipation
Considerable weight loss
Extremely distended abdomen
The typhoid state
By the third week, you may:

Become delirious
Lie motionless and exhausted with your eyes half-closed in what's known as the typhoid state
Life-threatening complications often develop at this time.

Improvement
Improvement may come slowly during the fourth week. Your fever is likely to decrease gradually until your temperature returns to normal in another week to 10 days. But signs and symptoms can return up to two weeks after your fever has subsided.

Life is a Journey, but Hardly Ever a Journey Song

2009-05-02T12:48:00.004-05:00

The sound of happiness....

Detektivbyrån....thanks Neal

You Keep The World At Bay, Should It All Wash Away

2009-04-27T11:38:00.006-05:00

The semester is drawing to a close, and I still have so much to do. But that is normal. Again, like last semester, I find myself trying to grab time and pull it backwards, like a tug 'o' war. I have started to recognize the reality that I won't see these people for months. Long, long months, and it's giving me that funny feeling behind my eyes. I know that I need a break. From this lovely little town, from these amazing people, from my messy life. Some time to regroup and figure things out. I know that before the summer is over, probably long before, I'll be ready to come back.

It frightens me to think about after my 4 year journey, where will I go? What will I do when everyone isn't conveniently located in the same place? When I won't be coming back. What kind of job will I take? Will I even HAVE a job....in THIS economy! (bugh, I can't believe I just wrote that). In some ways I can see myself becoming this recluse who gets quirkier and quirkier due to lack of human interaction. I've always been bad a making friends, and bad at staying in touch, so I think that this would be the easiest option by far.

...........

In the shoilet, I, in my corner, and she in hers. We have this unspoken agreement. I will not try to kill her, if she agrees to not move when I come near. Just let me be, for the five minutes it takes, and we can coexist peacefully.

I try to be pacifistic, but sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

She crawled upward, "alright, I'll let that go, just don't you get near me"

The water splattered on the cement floor. A little too closely, and she darted across the floor. "HEY, get lost! We have a DEAL!" I began to collect water in my hands to toss in her direction, just to frighten her, no harm intended. She ran, the covenant broken, out the doorway and onto the piece of carpet. I couldn't see her anymore. "I'm sorry, but you just scare me too much. I don't actually want to hurt you."

No reply.

I haven't seen her since, but I have turned over the shoilet to her. The floor now littered with bugs. A spider's domain, not fit for humans.

Lakeside Park

2009-04-23T01:20:00.002-05:00

This is a song by Rush about the city I live in. Particularly a popular hangout area near my house--lakeside park. I don't really like the song, but it's cool that it's about where I grew up.

Just Point and Shoot

2009-04-20T21:51:00.003-05:00

As you may or may not know. Polaroid has stopped making their famous instant cameras and film.

http://www.the-impossible-project.com/

I'm all about hope

...

2009-04-16T23:05:00.002-05:00

I can feel a change. Slightly. Little movements in relationships, my own and others'. An acceptance, with hope. A rejection, with satisfaction. Disappointment, understanding.

A shift in values, and a solidifying of ideology. Relief of confusion for a little while. Anticipation.

I would like to apologize for my shortfalls.

I get knocked down, but I get up again...

2009-04-14T10:43:00.002-05:00

I have been seriously thinking about quitting the Creation Care Club. Not that I have stopped caring, but since my Dilemma post, I have been realizing more and more that this isn't the kind of person that I want to be. The age old question remains...just because I can do something, does that mean that I should? Community Organizing will for sure have some job opportunities after I graduate, and I can make a lot of connections as the Creation Care Club chairperson. But as I get more calls from Greenpeace and Sierra Student Coalition, and make more conference calls, the more I realize that these people are annoying. SO annoying. I do NOT want to be them someday.

What do I want to do then?

Well, I want to throw paint around, I want to have stimulating conversation, I want to have nonsensical conversation, I want to cut out paper and glue it to my face, I want to freak people out with mannequins, I want to go for walks, I want to love, I want to play hacky sack, I want to get really dirty, I want to make crafts, I want to play with fire, I want to take pictures and save moments, I want to laugh.

Can I make a living out of these things? It sure sounds more like living. I am going to try.

On a different note, I learned the equation to figure out if a relationship is going to be successful or not in social psychology. If I didn't think that class was bullshit already, I do now. If you are curious, it's something like this.... Commitment= Satisfaction(scale of 1 to 10) - Other Options(1 to 10) + Investment (1 to 10).

Who knew that love was a science?

Bipolar

2009-04-07T22:10:00.004-05:00

It's strange how happy one can be in one second, and how unbearably sad the very next. My life, for the last semester at least, has been a roller coaster of emotions that change like a kaleidoscope...or a pickle. So much happiness, beauty, and fun contrast with extreme loneliness, confusion, and anger. Manic Depression?

Life is good. So good. So one would wonder, what the hell is my problem? I wonder what the hell is my problem. Maybe this is how I'm coping with death. Maybe I am just so fucking self-absorbed that I always need to feel sorry for my self. Maybe it's because I keep all of this bottled up and don't share it with anyone or scream at the top of my lungs with frustration. Maybe it's the realization that I can never do everything perfectly or be perfect or expect everyone else to be perfect. Maybe I'm not supposed to always be happy--hey breakthrough.

Maybe I just need to be slapped...hard. I would slap me if I knew myself and saw how mopey I was being.

My Opa was rushed to the hospital-he can't breathe and his heart hurts. I say it here because it's not something that comes up in conversation and I hate to be a mood killer.

Dilemma

2009-03-29T18:12:00.004-05:00

Earth. earth. earth....I read it so much that it begins to lose it's meaning and I look at the letters and can't make sense of it..is it english?

networking, SO much networking, wiggio, facebook groups, conference calls, summits, retreats, emails.

Sometimes I wonder if activism is something that I should be into. I'm terrible with people, and can't speak in public or EVER defend myself. There would just be so many other people, better people, for the job. People who are more organized, and more inspiring, and who wear nicer clothes.

I just care. so much. But is that all you need?

For some reason, I have this notion that I either have to choose a life of activism, or a life of art. Not both. Some would say that they can coexist, but these two life paths require two different selfs (selves?). There is the extroverted, friend making, event planning, activist, fake Lulu. And then there is the introverted, thoughtful, creating, artist Lulu. When I am doing a lot of one, the other suffers. Maybe it is that right brain left brain thing. I don't know.

slight memory loss

2009-03-18T17:48:00.001-05:00

I sometimes have ideas of things to blog about but my computer is broken and I always forget them by the time I get to one...sorry

from Actor; due 05/05/09

2009-03-06T12:19:00.000-05:00

Power Shift 09, Washington, DC

2009-03-03T19:02:00.003-05:00

An amazing weekend to be sure. I'll try to remember the details...

-30 hours in a van

-good taste in music

-more vegetarians than omnivores

-lost in south chicago

-lost in gary, indiana

-soo many hippies

-ice-breakers

-hummus

-new friends

-eye patches

-Wendell Berry

-live bluegrass

-G & Ts

-inspiration and hope

-rallying for a cause

This was truly a memorable weekend. I learned alot and hope that we could have made some change in the time that we were there.

Just Prescribe the Blue One

2009-02-23T02:21:00.003-05:00

It seems as though all of these things weighing down on me have finally come to a zenith. Not in the sense that they are all weighing down now, but this weekend, it has finally caught up with me. I had been able to keep myself busy, and bottle up any anxiety and move forward. I am tied down to bricks and I can either drag them behind me or give up and lay on the ground. I've done both. I desire solitude, or quiet private company, both have been hard to come by. Irked by little things, saddened by others--makes for a great recipe for melancholy. I have been rethinking plans. The moon is in my seventh house, making this normal behaviour.

I need something fresh and reliable...dear God let it be reliable.

Knockin' on Heaven's Door

2009-02-19T14:18:00.003-05:00

My friend Kate passed away yesterday morning.

I got the call from my dad. I was sleeping and the phone rang twice. After letting it go the first time, I knew exactly what my father would say to me when it got picked up.

It's not like it was unexpected, Kate had been battling cancer for 8 years. There were some close calls in that time, but when she finally got diagnosed with leukemia on top of the other stuff--that was it. A few weeks to live.

A few weeks to live. A strange thing to know.

I haven't cried, I don't know if I will.

I was more affected on Sunday, when I tried to call, and her sister explained to me in between sobs that she was sleeping and she probably wouldn't wake up anymore. I realized there would be no more coffee outings or movie nights or long chats. That was it.

Now, I am more sad for others than myself. I'll be able to deal with it, I know. I feel for her best friends who stuck by her though all of the hardship. I feel for her broken family. I feel for those who can't cope with death. And even while feeling sad for others, there is a relief along with it, the pain and suffering is over. The constant worrying is finished. She is in a better place and they can move on with their lives without guilt.

On a different note, the whole situation has made me think alot about mortality. I think that I am very out of touch with reality...or maybe too in touch with it--I don't know. Life can be taken from us at any moment, easily, but somehow, we go on living. An odd phenomenon.

I think about death alot anyway, but it doesn't really scare me. I feel as though it should. So many people go through life fearing and trying to prevent death. I am more intrigued by what will happen after I die. The idea or reality of heaven seems so out there and to-good-to-be-true that my own reasoning sometimes makes me question it. It's weird to think that someone leaves--but their body stays here, and they go to a place that is not this world, but sort of is.

There is a whole spiritual realm out there that no one really can wrap their heads around if they try. I think it's just something that we have to accept and realize that there are alot of things that are beyond the capacity of the human mind.

I find myself wondering if she can see me. I get self-conscious in the shower.

Desultory Thoughts

2009-02-08T20:43:00.002-05:00

Does it bother anyone when people use exclamation marks too liberally? It makes me feel like the person is yelling unnecessarily in writing form.

Another completely different, but slightly related topic. Sometimes when it's really quiet, everything sounds like it's way louder and it sounds like there are voices yelling in my ears and I have to turn on music or something. I especially get it when I have a fever. Is that normal? Have you ever had it?

It's been a good weekend. I love you, friends.

My Brightest Diamond- Apples

whachadoin?

2009-02-01T13:28:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I've never been really into hip hop, but sometimes things can catch my attention.

I usually get really annoyed with the stupid lyrics that hip hop is infamous for, but N.A.S.A seems to have something a little deeper than their kick ass bass lines. They also have a killer collaboration with Tom Waits...